Liz is sick and tired of her boyfriend comparing her to his ex. She feels like she can't match up to the image he has-- in his mind-- of his ex-girlfriend, whom he almost married. Whenever Liz cooks a meal for her boyfriend, meets his friends and family members for the first time and even when they're making love with one another, she feels as if she's being judged and rated. Her abilities, her body and looks, her sense of humor and her skill in bed never seem to quite match up to her boyfriend's ex. This relationship is important to Liz. She's never felt like this about a guy before. Most of her past relationships have been total and utter failures, leaving her scarred. This one seems different-- except for the fact that the "ghost" of her boyfriend's (alive and well) ex is always present and keeps coming between them. Comparisons. We all do it from time to time. Parents sometimes compare their kids. Employers frequently compare their employees. When you go to a movie or watch a television show, you probably compare it to others of a similar genre that you've viewed. Comparing also happens in a love relationship or marriage. Your partner might provide subtle clues that he is sizing you up in a particular way and rating how you compare with other women. You might do the same thing with him,beijing escort girl,Job Got You Down You Too Deserve A Business You Love!, in fact. How often have you seen or heard about another guy sweeping his woman off her feet with a romantic gesture and then thought, "My guy never does that kind of thing for me!" While there is some amount of comparing that inevitably goes on, when you are aware that your partner is regularly comparing you to his ex, this can be devastating. It can lead to jealousy, conflict and distance in your relationship. Talking with him about it might have seemed to back-fire in the past. Perhaps your man claimed you were "making it all up" or even called you "crazy." As a result, you may have stopped voicing your objections to being compared to his ex and tried to ignore how hurt you feel. If so, how is that working for you? (Probably not too well.) Be wise and really listen. One thing you've got to do when it seems like your partner is comparing you to his ex is to get clear. Take a symbolic step back and invite yourself to really listen to what your partner is saying to you. What are his actual words or actions that seem to (or literally) compare you with his ex? It could be that he very plainly is making judgments about you relative to his ex. It could also be that you're misinterpreting what he's saying or your own insecurities are clouding your perspective. It could also be a mix of these and more. Just take the time to be very clear about what is truly going on. I also encourage you to be wise. If he is actually comparing you to his ex and he is possibly still having contact with her, this might be something to pay closer attention to. Make requests without blame or judgment. If your partner is comparing you to his ex, you can ask him to stop. The trick here is to make your request without blame,beijing escorts, judgment or hostility. All of these will put even more distance and tension between you two. Use an "I feel" statement to let him know what's true for you when he makes the comparison. For example, you might say, "I feel inferior/less than/like I'm not attractive to you.... when you compare me to your ex." You don't have to make him wrong or "bad." It could be that he's not aware that this habit of his is having this effect on you. What you do probably want to do is let him know that you feel hurt when he does this. Together, you two could come up with some new ways to talk about what you each want and need in the relationship. If, for instance, he'd like you to be more adventurous in bed, suggest that he make that request directly...without bringing up what he and his ex used to do when they made love. This isn't the most comfortable kind of conversation to have with your partner, but when you really hear one another and you come to a resolution that works for both of you, all kinds of barriers to relationship connection fall away.